Photo: An Stalpers
The Purpose of Great Dreams Blog is to record Great Dreams from anyone according to the definition and guidelines written by the International writer and Dreamwork Psychologist, Strephon Kaplan- Williams.
A Great Dream is a night dream dreamed when the waking consciousness of the dreamer is in abeyance, as in sleeping. A Great Dream involves the dream ego, the dreamer's image of him or herself, in a transcendent relationship with a greater source of wisdom, power and guidance than is produced by the dream ego or observing ego. Great Dreams inspire the fulfillment of Waking Great Dreams, inspired visions and projects of value and the imagination that transcend ordinary ego control and action. Great Dreams, to be Great Dreams must have all of the following characteristics.
Strephon Kaplan-Williams
i dream that a friend of mine was getting married, i was suppose to go to the wedding/reception waiting at the street side the first vehicle pass with the bride my friend all dress up in her bride dress and veil then the other vehicle pass pick up her father who was at the street corner from where i was and no space was in any of the vehicle for me to go i got mad and did not go again. i need to know what does that mean.
pl. may i have a response
Hello Carol,
I am in charge with Strephon’s blogs. For the moment his focus is on his writing projects, but I am sure that he will give you a response as soon as time will allow it.
But for the time being, I am here eith some points to follow. the Dream Ego (your image in the dream) is very important. You should focus your attention on what were you doing and not doing in your dream.
You ask ‘what does that mean’, maybe having in mind the importance of such a moment as a wedding in one’s life. Your Dream Ego was acting ‘mad’. Will you please, give yourself time and remember your dream again, but this time focus on your feelings. Being mad against what or whom?
I will come back.
Stefania
Hi Carol. Consider this about how your dream source presents you in your dream.
Your friend is getting married but you seem to be being neglected in the dream. There is no room for you in the vehicle.
So does this show that you feel insecure? Your friend has the focus and attention. You are hardly noticed.
Is this a fear you have, that you are invisible?
See how it works?
When you are not noticed and accepted you get angry and leave. What could you have done differently?
What I have learned is that in this life people do neglect us and reject
us, but that we do not have to take someone else saying No to us as a
rejection.
When you get angry here are you then saying No to yourself and rejecting yourself?
You can learn in this life that no one ultimately rejects us but ourselves.
So, find out what your anger is about, but when you get angry see if you can stay present and assert your needs. Don’t just wait passively for someone to notice you or want to help you. State your needs. People may be forgetful, not really rejecting.
If we don’t know about your needs how can we help you? Make us notice. Okey?
In life half of what we get comes our way from others. But the other
half of what we can have in life only comes when we make our needs known and do what is necessary to obtain them.
You asked here for a response. You got it! Hope it helps you. As I have been helped sometimes I am able to help someone else.
Take care,
Strephon
i had a dream that a lizard bit me on ma left finger wha does that mean?
Last night I had a dream about an old friend/lover i used to see. He just up and abruptly started to date this lady ahilwe back. Well I have dreamt about him in the past, and yes I believe we had a strong conection when we were together,weve known each othere for years-18yrs. Well in this dream I was in my bed sound asleep and my brother, which is his best friend, was at the end of my bed asking this guy what he was doing there. I turned around to find this guy laying next to me saying he just wanted to be with me for awhile. It was exactly what i’ve been waiting to hear from him for a long time.
He has been with this girl for almost a year now, they are planning to get married I guess. I haven’t spoke to him since he so called crushed me with this sudden dating. We live in same town, have same friends everything. Can you maybe shed some light on this for me?
Danyel
Dear Danyel,
-Once Married, Always Married.
Of course you two were not married, which is a commitment to the bonding. Starting with the dream we can see the following issues:
-If a former lover, or even a current one, shows in our dreams regularly, then it can suggest this “always” connection we have to that person, whether brought into reality or not. I have this with certain ex loves. The love energy is always there, what we evoke for each other in terms of life and feelings.
-So at one level does your dream show this, as if saying you will always love this person, no matter whom else you are both relating to?
-We can ask from the dream, how does the dream portray your ex lover? Is he passive and dependent, or needy, or what? How do you respond in the dream? Do you, or are you able to meet his needs? You can love someone but not be able to meet their needs because of who you are or because of who they are. Thus you can say, we tried our best to love each other but it did not work. I always have a place in my heart for him. I can meet him anywhere and with anybody, and still what we had together is in my heart and part of my life. I feel it but I do not have to do anything about it now because the circumstances are different.
-Sometimes dreaming about a person we have loved and still do love ties into their love situation as well. Since the man is with you in the dream, is the dream suggesting that maybe he wants to come back to you but you have to take the initiative? Often the woman knows intuitively more about these things. Thus, if you invited him back into your life now in whatever ways possible, you would have to be clear and not blocked yourself. For instance, you should realize if you want revenge, or to dominate him, or to punish him. Yet what if you just want to love him, and that you can let go of the past with him?
You cannot decide what he needs but you can intuit possibilities. Maybe he realizes who he is with the other woman is not as fulfilling as who he is with you, and that he respects you more. Sometimes people try another person to love with and from that experience realize more what and whom they really value.
-If the dream source is dreaming you and him, then you can ask what between us is unresolved, but also what might be possible between us today?
-You can decide to intervene into his present relationship with the other woman, and if he responds, then he has two strong choices to make between his two women and what he really needs in love relating. There is nothing wrong with opening the possibility again to at least know what he had with you.
-If he abruptly broke off with you he might have been afraid of you, weak, or something. The fact then that the break-up was not consciously handled and resolved means you also are left hanging. Thus it is good for you to raise the issue of his coming back to you, even if you are not sure you would take him back. At least the choices will be made consciously and in reality.
-The matter of your brother and he being best friends then would make it hard for your ex to relate to you. Like in the dream, what does your brother think about all this? Thus you have a threesome relationship. This is reality. Seems to me you all should be very clear. Why not at least indicate to your brother that you need to resolve the love situation with his best friend and you want to do it now. Insist on settling the issues now, or at least meeting together.
-Reality is healing. In relationships the more honest and real we can be with each other the more real and expressive we can be in ourselves. Your ex love being in bed with you is strong. Your brother leads with a great question in the dream. What are you doing here? He does not judge. He asks for reasons, values, choices. Relating cannot just be automatic and instinctual. What are you doing here in bed with her? Is this a question you need to ask as well? What is it you saw in me? What is it you see in me? With the other woman a year of experience has gone by and the sexual excitement could be more even keel now so questions can be asked: Just what are we doing together.
-Getting married to someone else, leaving your ex love hanging, is not clear and honest. You two need to have an encounter.
-We have to ask also, have you and the other woman gotten together and said your feelings? This helps clear the air.
-The issue is also, how do we maintain an intimate love relationship with someone while others are around who know about us? Same town. She is around. He is around. Your brother is around. You are around. Seems you have to be very much in yourself and your core values to handle all this. So whatever happens, if you take the initiative to clear up all these relationships and keep them clear then you are in reality, and being in reality creates the freedom to choose.
-Be adventurous, active, sure of what you offer in a love relationship. Make sure that the persons you share love, life and sex with are right for you, as well as that you are right for them.
-Learning to love is at least as important as finding the right person to love.
-Strephon
Hi,
I had a dream last night that there was this big lizard with along tail on my bed and another lizard that was small in my room but not on the bed. I am very curious to know what this all means.
I’ve been having dreams of my first love for many years now. My dreams of him are never romantic but only of him telling me he’s happy and doing well. My most recent dream of him he introduced his wife and daughter to me and I introduced my husband and son to him and his family. I felt so happy when I woke up because I felt that the dream was true and he was happy with his life. I thought that maybe we were connecting on a spiritual level. I ended up researching and finding his mother’s phone number and contacted her. She told me that he wasn’t married and living with a female but they were just roommates. She gave me his phone number but she thought it was disconnected. We ended our relationship but still remained great friends for many years. I haven’t spoken or seen him in 14 years. Why do I keep dreaming about him telling me he’s doing well?
Dear Reca,
Your dream falls into the category of “Dreaming About Ones Ex-lover, naturally.
You had sexual intercourse with him and emotionally bonded. This is something that goes to the core and causes a shift in us that maybe never leaves us all our lives.
What do you do about it, if anything?
When I work with my dream students I go under the assumption that we dream about unresolved important experiences in our lives, and also about new potentials, or old potentials not realized.
Yet in your dream and research with your ex’s mother you find out that maybe he is not doing so well, if his phone is not connected and he has no woman relationship.
Just because in dreams you dream him doing well does not mean that you can read him that way in outer life.
However, the psychic communication that is possible according to some dreamers, and I have had this myself, is that we dream of someone who has been close to us when they are having a strong experience or life change, whether for the better or the worse.
This could be happening with you. Since you bonded to him and the bond still holds at some level, then you can be psychicly in tune but interpret the opposite happening.
At an inner level you probably had unresolved issues and unrealized love potentials when you broke up. Could any of these still be unresolved in you and your love life?
Being first love destiny material would mean a hell of a lot would be evoked in you in the sexual bonding. What was realized and what not realized?
If you wrote an inner dialogue with your ex boyfriend as now an inner figure, or part of yourself, what would you say?
-Goodbye. I can’t take care of you now?
-What is going on with you that I dream of you?
-Do we need to say our final goodbyes and still honor how much we loved each other?
-What in me is doing well in my life?
-What in me needs to do well in my life?
-What of my “love potential” is being realized in my present relationship, and what is not? What can I do with this?
For other work on the issue, what is “doing well” in terms of you and your life?
The danger is that we project outside ourselves what we are not facing as our own issue. So then you work to take back what your ex lover still carries for you in your own inner life.
-To get to your feelings around him and your issues, you can write a feeling letter to him which no one else sees, and which you don’t actually send to him or his mother.
-Of course, some people act on their dreams as a kind of outer communication and find it meaningful to at least send a letter.
However, there is also a point to truly ending a relationship in the past, inner and outer. Do you need to do this to have all your energy available for yourself and your present relating so that you can be sure you are “doing well?”
At still another level, as I have found with myself also, some people we have related to deeply simply are not the same anymore. Or, we experienced originally with them a mostly positive life. Now, as the years go by some we have known do go downhill. This is sad. We cannot expect that someone we have known intimately, and who led a positive life when with us, will continue to lead a positive life.
This is sad. Anyone can start going downhill in life and not do well. It is a problem for any of us. As the years go by we have to work a little more maybe to keep positive about our day and where our life is going. It’s hard to worry about someone else you can have any effect on, and simply let them go now because they are not part of your present life.
This is like grief, like a funeral. That part of our life, which was so vital, is now gone and so are the people with whom we were with, at least gone into other life experiences.
You can’t hang on. We need present energy for present living.
Just some thoughts. Some may make sense to you. Others not. If something makes sense then you can write or talk about it and make some choices, maybe hard choices.
-Strephon
i had a dream last nite that i was at my boyfriends funeral and i was balling. and then wen he was getting burried, he got burried in a white sheet. i woke up with tears down my face. and felt empty. and i still feel empty. what does this mean?
Usually a dream does not come like this as a neat little story. Dreams have the dreamer doing something unique and unusual. Also, the dreamer does not ask, what does this mean? Dreamers bring up their own concerns and answers to share with their dream. If you don’t do this then what you do describe is considered a made-up dream.
Nice try! For creativity, you might use this as a plot for writing your own short story. It’s up to you to deal with this ‘dream,’ whether it comes from your imagination or from letting go in night sleep and letting your deeper center speak. Please don’t manipulate in life, if that is what you are doing.
Don’t take people’s precious time from them without some purpose and giving back. Do your own work on yourself first before you ask for help from others. -Strephon
I have been having the same dream for years. I dream that my wife is leaving for another man and one time with her best friend.(women) That hurt the most. The dreams are always the same way. She says she tired of me and is moving on to something better.Very real,not goffy stuff in the dream. We have a great marriage and she NOT the type to do anything like this.
Thanks
Hi, this is my first time sending a message but here it goes, I dreamed last night that me and my husband was walking through this grave yard looking for my grandmothers grave, it was dark and the fog was out. As we was trying to find her grave, two men approached us and asked us “What are you doing here?” I said to myself what do you mean what are we doing here looking for my grandmother grave. He pulled out this book tha looked like a ledger and he found my grandmother name but it turned to be or i felt it was my mothers name. When we got to the place where her grave was it was nothing but dirt. What does this mean?
I had a dream that I was on a ship with my sister and a child. There was a big party going on and alot of loud music. I couldn’t find my sister but seen some girls had her purse. I took the purse from the girls and then seen part of her wallet sitting on a table with all of its contents missing. Her cell phone was also missing. I decided to call her cell phone to see who had it. When I called a male voice answered and asked who I was. I said, Ginger. He said “Eat shit and die bitch”. I decided to tell a couple of police officers standing by what had happened. They did not have time to help me because that had a call they had to check out. Five police went downstairs to check out the call and I could hear noises that sounded like them being killed. At this point, I started freaking out in the dream and realized that me and the child needed to get off this ship immediately. I woke up really scared in this part of the dream with the feeling that a terrorist with glowing eyes was watching me and daring me to remember to much of this dream. He wanted me to think about my address so he could come and find me and kill me. I was scared for an hour after this dream. I hate scarry dreams.
I am wondering if you still answer some blog questions, but if I you have the time, I would appreciate a response to mine.
I just woke up, and had a dream about two girls - both of whom went to school with me. The one girl, call her girl A, is a girl whom I think liked me, certainly I heard a few rumors that she did. She was in the same year as I was. I dreamt about her, and I remember almost feeling, in my dream, that she was…fancying me somehow.
The other girl, girl B, was a year younger. She and I were both madly in love with each other, yet we never spoke more than about ten consecutive words. We carried on this way for the better part of three years, all whilst both still in school. I haven’t seen this particular girl in all of four years (since I graduated from High School), yet in my dream we met ‘per chance’ at a High School Athletics meeting, sat next to each other…and held hands! I was so ‘relieved’ and happy, only for my dream to end my euphoria.
I believe in a lot of extraordinary, inexplicable things, like dreams. And I’m hoping you can shed some light on the meaning (if any) of my dream.
My thanks in advance.
I am very curious, I have recurrent dreams of tornadoes and being struck by lightening. Is there a psb. reason for this.
I also am wondering why I have not dreamed about my father who died in 1993. He and I were very close and I miss him very much. I would really like to at least see him if not able to talk to him about past experiences.
Hi! I had a very strange dream…i dreamt i was in a house (that i have never been in before) there was two couches and a tv, and one of my friends was on Kareoke (random) and just singin her heart out to all these songs but was drunk, and my cousin was on one of the couches cheering her on and me and my boyfriend were on the other couch. Then my friend ran off down the hall way and we presumed it was to be sick or something, so three of us went to go to sleep and could hear someone being sick, and it was a friend of mine from Italy (she makes her self sick after meals) and then i realised we were in Italy at a familys house. Then my boyfriend got up to get a blanket and went to a room that appeared off the room we were in and came out with a skirt that he thought was a blanket and put it on and we were all laughing. Then he came back on the couch and was saying ‘you’ll have to make up for the room you’ve taken’ as in i am taking up a bit of the couch but have to make it so he has the same amount of room. And the girl that was being sick just walked past and went into her room and my cousin was alseep on the couch and the other girl from kareoke was just gone.
I think this must be the week of strange dreams for me. As yet again i had another one. I was in the shopping centre with my family, my boyfriend and some other girls. Me and my boyfriend were standing with my grandma and aunt and realised everyone else had left so my boyfriend was like ‘well if they have left i’m gonna go’ he wanted to go with the other girls…so we left and went to a house but then i wasnt there and it was four other guys talking bout how great their mam’s are and how young they act and everything. Then i was in a van full of people with a tiger that was the size of a kitten but that was its full growth and it had long thin sharp nails and had a weird horn on its head,and everyone in the van had a strange pet but they didnt seem strange until i woke up. Anyways, we were driving down a road trying to get away from people and my boyfriend was there too. We went down old dirt roads past lil farm houses and ended up in a car park in a town, where the lil boy from the show hollyoaks was, and i ran out to get him because he was in the middle of the road and he turned out to be my little brother. Then it turned into a guy holding the boy running from the van we were all in, and there was a girl standing infront of another car in the car park so the man and the little boy ran for her and the van stopped right before it hit them all but they all acted as if the van really hit them so the van backed off and when it was far enough they all got up as if nothing had happened. Then my boyfriend and i were walking towards his car and he kept looking at other girls and it was annoying me a bit, and then he said he couldnt do anything with me because he had plans but it turned out it was because he was hangin out with this other girl..but i woke as i was in the process of breakin up with him.
I know this dream is very odd and very mixed up not sure if you can explain any of it? if not that is ok, i was just very confused when i woke up about how i created my own pet and how it kept jumping to different places with different people.
Sorry to bombard you with all these dreams, but i just found this site yesterday and maybe you can read the three of them and just do one reply instead of me sending you tons and getting more replies from yourself as i do have many dreams that seem so real and when i wake up i always have to think ‘did that actually happen!’ but hopefully you can find some explination in any of them Thanks….I was at a school, a typical American high school like the huge ones on OC or something, and I came into school wearing Paul’s (boyfriend) sweater that I had and a skirt and when I walked into school he was wearing a sweater that was pretty much the same so I was like odd why he would have two the same…but anyways, I stopped to say hi but then just kept walking…I don’t really remember the rest that happened in this part…but then all of a sudden I was talking to this guy and his kid and the kid had this box that could talk, I was doing an interview…and the kid went off to bed but the box turned into a cage and the kid wouldn’t go to sleep with out it…so eventually he went and then I was outside and was looking for this cage (cuz it was missing)…and was walking along a path (forestry type) and then Jamie (colleague) ran by and was like Linsey its down there!! and the cage now had a bird in it(I was a lil confused on where he came from) and he ran up to this little house (a little cottage, had to go on a little wooden bridge and was on the water, like not a £1 million place but like a swampy type…but not swamp if that makes sense), it was an old couple and he knocked on the door and just jumped in the house so I was waiting outside, and the dog was looking at me oddly so I went to the path and climbed the tree cuz the dog started to come after me…then like half an hour went by and I saw my lil cousins playing…there was little islands of sand around this house…and was like it was a zoo, lots of wildlife around…anywho…I went to go and try get to my cousins and that old couple came out and I was like…what happened to my friend, he is still inside your house! And they were like, no he’s over on the other island he left a while ago…but I couldn’t see him on any of the islands so I presumed they killed him…so I tried again to go down this path to get to my lil cousins but then the Disney website turned up and was like you need to sign in to get into the islands and all that…so I was trying to sign into this page but it wouldn’t let me…then I woke up…
Weeks before our wedding, my dear fiance, Marco died from a fall at his job as a carpenter.I was stunned and in the most searing pain. The grief was indescribable. Exactly one year later, my parents God Daughter was to be married. The Bride and her Mother Arranged for three of the grooms best friends from med school and residencey to stay with our family. I was annoyed by this; knowing they were hoping I would be distracted by, or attracted to these men. They turned out to be very kind. Entertaining me and treating me like a royal princess. Well, I did fall for one of them. We ended up going on a road trip together, during which we really connected. It was as though we’d always and would always know each other. We went from becoming fast friends to fast lovers. But of course, it couldn’t go on, as he had to return to the East Coast, to begin a four year resident program. I felt such a huge loss. I was still feeling the loss of my Fiance, and maybe some guilt over the incredible connection with this other man. After he left, I felt a huge sadness.What saddened me, was the feeling that it was over for now, and, it would be many, many years before I would ever see him again. He did contact me several times over the next year or two. I think he felt horrible knowing that he had caused pain in my life when I was barely getting back up over the pain of Marco’s death. He did say at one point, that he was hoping to have fun with a girl on his vacation. I think when the smoke cleared, so to speak, he realized he had gone for the one girl who he was really attracted to: Smart, unique, sassy, funny and pretty, ME. But, he didn’t take into account that I was still wounded and vulnerable. I also think he didn’t take into account that he would fall in love with me….Well, fast forward twenty years. I must have buried all that and buried it well, because now, even though I’m happily married with three darling children, I suddenly started having flashbacks of our brief time together. And now I have been having dreams where we are with each other, often in a beautiful forest at night, before a river. ( this actually happened in reality, while on that long ago road trip) These dreams have a feeling of intense tenderness. Oftentimes he is deeply troubled and holding my hand,talking, while I listen sympathetically. But , I can never remember what he is saying. It almost doesn’t even matter what he is saying, because I just know he is conflicted and needs me. And always in the dreams, I care deeply. Why are these dreams happening to me, so long afterward? My husband thinks I should write him a letter (even after I reiterated the lover part !) Please help me understand all this.
Ginger,
We understand as in the dream that you want to get off the ship. Not allowed! You are on this ship and you have to stay here, like it or not. This is your existence, so deal with it. As in the dream, you do not feel so effective in dealing with things there. First accept your existence as it is, as the first big step, and then develop your skills and commitment for dealing with things as they are. Do not live from fear, but live from positive motivation that there is a creative solution to every problem in life. Good luck on your life journey, Ginger! Don’t waste much energy complaining! O.K.?
Werner,
One important thing you can work on is how much you need for someone to love you, before you can risk loving them. It’s far more effective in practicing loving yourself and others, rather than worrying about whether someone else loves you, or not.
Go where the energy is! If you feel love for someone inside yourself, why not create with it? Work in the garden, not in your mind. Sometimes others will accept your expression of love, because it resonates with their own love potential inside.
Other times, you simply not resonate with someone else. It is still your own love you are feeling. Do not try and impose it on some one else. If you resonate together, then you have a basis for relationship. If you do not resonate together, move on!
Gaynell,
Some people do report experiencing at a feeling level relating to a parent or loved one after they have died. So, one thing that is effective for some people, put a picture of your past on parent under your pillow and wake in the morning writing down anything, dream or not.
Tornadoes are intense energy as if you need to face any fears. Stay present and create with whatever comes your way.
So, if you open up to communication with the spirit of your dead father, make sure you are able and ready to handle what is evoked.
What can also be effective is to write a letter to your dead father, telling him about yourslef and your life since his death. When the letter is complete, light a candle before sleep, and read it to him, then blow the candle out, and put the letter under your pillow. It’s quite possible this will evoke strong feelings in you. It’s quite possible also that you have not had healing closure with your father’s spirit, so you feel unresolved at a feeling level in the relationship. This is why writing a letter to your father’s spirit and writing down any dreams that come, may become a healing experience for you.
If you are feeling overwhelmed by sudden emotions coming up, it’s also good to light the candle and be quite and meditative, so that you can feel grounded and centered. O.K.?
L**N,
Your dream seems confused and chaotic and does not make sense, because as I am sure you can see, everything is happening out there.
But where are you in all these?
As a good dreamwork technique for you, try and rewrite your dream with you reacting and making choices to each of these dream characters and events.
Remember in your dream, when you were concerned that your boyfriend was seeing another girl? Thus, you can be afraid that you do not really exist for others, that you are not interesting enough to have others interested in you.
If you live your life through others, as many people do, then you are not living your life from your own values, purpose and who you are.
Take back what you project onto others, live for yourself more, trust that the right people will relate to you without you having to be anxious and overly involved with them and their lives.
O.K?
Thanks Strephon,
Your interpretation of my dream is interesting and so true. Thats amazing. Thank you and I will be sure to use your advise. Take care and God Bless. Ginger
there is this guy that iv been loving off seens grade 2,but never really had the guts to tell him,till this day. But reguarly i dream about him asking me out, and him knowing that i’v loved him fo soo long, whats does that mean?
I am unsure how to go about writing this dream since it was so confusing. Heres what I got.
Me and my husband were in the driveway of my high school boyfriends house but in the dream their was the feeling that is was my husbands house. My husband had the trunk open of his old mustang from 15 years ago. He was in a wheel chair and handed me my two coats but I only wanted one of the coats. There was a feeling of being left alone and wondering what I was going to do. Then me and my husband were in the house of my high school boyfriends. There was not a lot of words in the dream but I remember a feeling of hurt and anger. Then I was in the small house at the back at my high school boyfriends house by myself. I was in the bathroom and kitchen. I was going to throw away one of the coats but decided to keep it. Then I was outside by my husband old mustang and wanted to get back into the small house but it was locked. I wanted in to confront my husband on something that I was angry about. A child came by and I asked him who is locked in the house and he said, Chris, which is my brother-in-law. So, I stood and waited for my brother-in-law to get done so I could get in and that is when I woke up.
Hey, Well i’ve been having dreams of my ex randomly for a few months now.
I ended the relationship because he was making me do things I was sexually uncomfortable with, and hurting me emotionally. I ended up at a counselor at the end of our relationship.
Anyway, on with my dreams!
Just last night I dreamed that we were in my kitchen with a few other of my friends, and we somehow ended up holding hands and eating cherios. I remember feeling very sad, and hurt. He said something about always being broke, and I responded, ” Well maybe its because were not friends anymore.” He than got sad, and I did too?!
And just the other night I dreamed that I was at his party with a bunch of other people, and I saw him, and we just stopped and stared at each-other. His stare was mean and cold. I always seem to feel overwhelmed with emotions of sadness when I see him in my dreams.
Also, in most of my dreams I tell him how much i’m over him, and moved onto my newest love interest James. He never tells me hes happy back. Just gives horrible stares, and just looks evil.
I really just want these dreams to stop!!
Also, i’ve had a few dreams where my teeth are falling out to accompany these.
The dreams have seemed to just become more frequent lately.
What does this all mean?
I had a dream that me and my ex were ling in bed and i kept asking him who was Asia(a current friend of his now that he does not know i know about)and he would never answer the question he would try his best to avoid the the questions what does this mean.
I dreamnt that I was pregnant and that I was wishing it was a boy, I kept saying I want a boy.
I dreamnt that I was pregnant, and that I kept saying that I want a boy. What does that suppose to mean.
hello my name is catarina.
and i was wondering what my dream ment i can’t stop thinking about it.
well in my dream i was sitting down outside and i looked up at the sky and then suddenly i saw a heart cloud performing.
And it said my boyfriend’s name(oscar)..
what does that mean?
are we going to be together forever?
a few days aqo i dreamed that my boyfriend had qot tired of my attitude/anqer problems and one day i was talkin to his brother and after skool i saw my boyfriend and he was on the fone so i took it and he was talkin to another qurl and i cursed her out. he was tryin to move on and break up wit me. the qurl he was talkin to in my dream was named jennifer avila . i dont know what this dream means???? and yesterday was our 1 year anniversary
Hello Rubes,
Of course our dreams bring up real problems that are often there in a relationship. Here in your dream seem to be the issues as follows:
-Can your partner cope with your getting angry and upset?
-Is getting upset and angry part of any emotional-intimate relating?
-How are you dealing with your own anger and hurt that comes up inside of you?
-How much of your anger and frustration is due to the present relationship, and how much due to past relationships, including your original family.
These questions are important because it helps for both you and your boyfriend to understand what is going on.
Also, what sort of agreements can you agree on for either one of you to show your angers and frustrations.
When is it too much to handle in the relationship and you should best go elsewhere to work on your stuff, like to a skilled therapist.
Sometimes ones own emotional problems are too much to handle only in the relationship.
Crisis point: When is too much, too much? When do I choose for myself first and not the relationship or the other person?
These are things to talk about certainly.
The ability to relate does depend in part on each of you evaluating what are the agreements you can make together for what is happening now.
Why do people break up? If you can say No in the relationship you don’t have to say No to the relationship.
Thus it often works best to get each of your issues out on the table. This lessens the tension and the need to just break up when it feels like too much for too long.
Yes, as your dream suggests, some people go to another partner when it feels too much to handle, or just negative in the present relationship.
More often than not going to a new partner presents the same or similar problems, so what is most effective for you is to work on yourself and what gets evoked in your relating to someone and their relating to you.
Keep learning who you are in the relationship so you build solid ground inside yourself.
You usually cannot create the ideal relationship that fits you because each person must deal with their own stuff as they effective way for doing so.
Thus we learn from each other to become more effective relaters.
Our goal is to fulfill ourselves in life and being able to do so helps us better support others we relate to. But we must each do our own work because working on ourselves is more effective than trying to change another person.
However, a relationship is only right between people when you each get more good from the relating than bad. So keep working on the good things that can come out of your relating as well.
Anger is often protest. We want things to be different than they are. We don’t accept things as they are and create with them.
It is easy to get jealous, as in the dream worrying about the boyfriend attempting to relate to someone else and maybe leave you. Dreams often reveal this issue, so it is a good idea to be up front with what your dream raises.
“Because I get angry I am afraid you are going to relate to someone else. Is this true? Are you actively looking? Is there something about me you just can’t stand? What would you like from me to support you more, if that is an issue?”
Living from fear usually does not work well in relating. Why? Because I am stopping expressing parts of myself for fear that the other person will leave me.
The truth of experience is more that the more real I am in expressing myself the more someone else will love and appreciate me. So being real is probably the best policy.
Also, look at whether you really want to be with your present relationship partner or not. Sometimes people drive the other person away rather than make a direct choice to relate or not.
Look at how you might be doing the same thing in the dream attributed to the boyfriend. Rewrite the dream substituting your name where your boyfriend’s name is. What feelings and insights are evoked in you?
In relationship it is always a question as to whether one or both of you want to keep relating to each other. You have a year of experience together now. Time to adjust and clear the air of whatever you two have been doing together. Renew the relationship by both of you being as honest as you can about your experience together. Find out if what has happened fits both of your values.
Then make commitments to change the little things that are causing problems. Try and shift and live a bit differently. Look at things positively and not just negatively.
That’s it for now!
Hope this helps …
Strephon